Welcome to the January Messy Motherhood Link Up Party!!

I’m thrilled you are joining us this month as we discuss “Balancing It All”. I’m excited to have my sweet friend Sarah co-hosting with me! I just adore her and her openness as she is mommy to two precious boys.
Link up your posts from January 29 – February 1!
Can’t wait to hear what you have to say on this topic and learn some new things from each of you!!

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This is a tough subject for me. I’m an extremely organized, right brained, OCD on the edge of clinically insane type of person. But when its comes to motherhood, I’m different. I’m layed back. I’m relaxed. I’m flexible. All of those things came as a COMPLETE shock to me when I had my first baby just 3 years ago. My personality would scream that I would follow the “rules” of parenting. But I didn’t. 

I became a flexible mom with each of my kids, following their lead for what they needed. That’s the best mom I could be for my kids, and I have found that it works beautifully. I can’t follow a parenting mold for all of my kids, because they are so very different. I realize it helps me balance our home better by being flexible with organization around the edges. This is just what works for me.

But I still have to have a massive amount of organization to balance it all. Here’s a few of the ways I balance our lives.

Organization for our overall schedule. I have a monthly calendar that hangs on the fridge. I put our appts and important dates on it, as well as hubby’s work schedule. I also have a planner that I use for my little stuff. I schedule out what I’m going to get done for the week, do a meal plan, plan out what I will clean, etc.

Organization of the stuff. We have 2 (almost 3) girls. That’s a lot of stuff. A lot of clothes. A lot of shoes. I have to stay on top of keeping it all in order or our house becomes a diaster area. Believe me, it gets to that point at times, I’m only human. But I like having specific places for things to go. Then my girls know where to put stuff, and they can help me!

Flexibility with everyday life. Since I’m a stay at home mom, and we spend a majority of our time at home…I’m flexible. We don’t have a set schedule, but we do have some structure. I don’t mind bending the rules and spending an entire day in our pjs watching Veggie Tales. That’s just life. We have picnic lunches in the living room. We don’t do the dishes for a week. And most importantly? We have fun. Fun is my number one priority!

Choose one task to tackle everyday. Don’t try to do it all each day. It’s not possible. I choose one thing every day and focus on that. Some days it is the dishes, sometimes the laundry or sweeping the floor. Some days the only thing I choose to focus on are my kids!

Scheduling specific mommy & daddy time. The most important thing for me, is quality time with my hubby. We have “non-negotiable date night” once a week (we’ve been bad about it lately, but we still do our best! It’s not easy with kids, and we never pay a baby sitter (thanks mom and dad!) but we make it happen. We try to go out once a month, and then have weekly date nights at home. Typically we do Sunday night, and make dinner together (aka: grill steaks) after the kids go to bed. Then we play games, talk or watch a movie. This week date night consisted of me laying on the couch while he cooked, and then me going to bed at 10. 9 month pregnant me isn’t much fun to date

Ok, let’s sum up. I balance it all in 3 simple ways:
Organization, flexibility and lots of grace. 

Always remember mamas, you can’t do it all. Give yourself grace, grace and more grace.

Link up with us!

WELCOME TO MESSY MOTHERHOOD!

Join me and my lovely co-hosts this month to link up with us as we talk about “Loving Yourself”
You can link up from any of our 3 blogs, and the link up is live from December 18-24.

kk @ the mom diggity || brittany @ naturally estes || moriah @ moriah makes

All three of us had multiple children crazy close together. If anyone knows what it’s like to lose your identity and get wrapped up in diapers, spit up, sweatpants and no showers….it’s us. I hope you are encouraged by our “wisdom” and what we have learned in our journeys!

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I’m my own worst enemy. Isn’t that how it goes?

So here’s the deal. I carried my first baby FORTY-TWO weeks. I was massively massive. I thought that baby would never come, and there’s a good chance she never would have if the doctor hadn’t forced her arrival. Because of the massiveness of that 42 week belly, I was destroyed. My poor skin couldn’t handle it, and will never be the same again.

When I was in my early twenties, if you asked me what my favorite body part was, I would tell you it was my stomach. Seriously. That sounds totally lame now, but I was quite proud of my 6 packed perfect little tummy.

Now? It’s frightening.
I hide behind layers of shirts, and freak out if my amazing husband (who loves me unconditionally) even touches my stomach. Ugh. I’m scared of it. Never again will a bikini be a part of my life and you better believe there will be none of those icky bare belly maternity pictures where I’m wrapped in silk in my baby books. Praise be to blurry.

But there’s a reason for that.

My babies. 3 of them in 3 years. The first two are perfect, and the tiniest little one still cooking is perfect too. They are worth this new body, but that doesn’t mean I struggle with it. I’m not the same size I once was. I don’t look or feel the same way. And that’s hard for me. I struggle with those fears that my husband won’t look at me the same he did when we got married. I struggle with those fears that I will never be the same again.

But I WON’T ever be the same again. I am a mom. I am changed.

I earned my stripes.

It’s believed that tigers have stripes because they have adapted to their environment over time. They earned those stripes. They worked to be a part of the enviroment they are in. I wanna be a tiger. RAWR. And tigers are beautiful, are they not??

I am beautiful too. Stripes and all.

So let’s get real.

I’m learning to love my stripes, because it’s evidence of my environment and my environment is amazing. This is EXACTLY how God created me. He knows every stretch mark, every extra inch, every wrinkle, everything. He designed me in HIS image and loves me.

So I love me. I love the person He created me to be and although I struggle with what the world tells me I should look like, I choose to focus on what He tells me. And that’s how I love me. 

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.” 1 Peter 3:3-5 

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THE LINK UP MISSION:
We come to be real, to be loved, to encourage and to uplift. We come from all walks of life and stages of motherhood. We learn from one another and grow together in this amazing responsibility God has given us to raise His people. Bring your messes, your dirty hair and your tears. We embrace each other with open arms and love deeply because we are in this together. It’s a beautiful mess.

LINK UP RULES:
Take the subject for the month and run with it. You can write a post based on it. You can do a vlog. You can answer the questions. You can do whatever you like as long as it fits within the topic for that month! Make sure you add the button to the bottom of your post and make lots of new friends!!!

I’m excited to introduce you to this month’s “Messy Mom”, Grace. I’ve been reading her blog for what seems like forever, and just adore her. She’s real and isn’t afraid to show that. I’m so honored that she is going to share her heart with us as we tackle “Loving Yourself” this month.

Take it away friend.

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After struggling with depression and anxiety after the birth of my first son, and subsequently hitting “rock bottom,” probably the most critical lesson I learned was how to ask for help. I knew I was gradually falling, I knew this was unfamiliar territory, and I knew – like a rock at the bottom of my gut – that I needed help. I resisted my intuition because I thought I wasn’t the “type” of person to get depressed or to need medication or to see a psychiatrist. But, the reality was, I didn’t even recognize the “type” of person I had become.

When you don’t recognize yourself, believe me, it’s a scary place to be.

So. How do you ask for help?

You say to your partner, “I need help.”

You pick up the phone and call a psychiatrist, and you say, “I need help.”

You text your mom or your best friend, and you type, “I need help.”

This, I learned (kicking and screaming), is how to love myself.

Saying to whatever pain you are in, whatever stress you are under, whatever negative emotion is overwhelming you, “I see you. I feel you. And, because I am worth it & because I love myself, I need help getting through this.”

When my husband and I were finally at the place to discuss having a second child, the biggest concern he expressed to me was his fear that I wouldn’t acknowledge my need for & ask for help when a difficult situation (inevitably) arose. My instinct was to defend myself or to downplay his fear, but the truth was, his concern was absolutely valid. Don’t we want to believe we can do it all? Don’t we want to assume things will be different? No matter how frequently you ask for help, it’s always awkward; it’s always hard. I honored my husband by writing out a postpartum plan – complete with steps, phone numbers, plans A & B, what to do if x, y, or z happens, even the words I wanted him to say if I was acting irrational.

We enlisted family & friends, along with paid help, during those first several months. Every time I asked my mom to get up at 5 a.m., or a friend dropped by with a hot dinner, I felt unworthy. I even felt guilty.

Friends, this loving yourself business? So often it feels strange, unnatural, like wearing shoes a half size too small, or a bulky cardigan in the middle of July. But, no matter what that little voice inside your head is saying, you are worthy.

Grace blogs at Arms Wide Open and you can follow her on twitter @ourarmswideopen

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THE LINK UP MISSION:
We come to be real, to be loved, to encourage and to uplift. We come from all walks of life and stages of motherhood. We learn from one another and grow together in this amazing responsibility God has given us to raise His people. Bring your messes, your dirty hair and your tears. We embrace each other with open arms and love deeply because we are in this together. It’s a beautiful mess.

LINK UP RULES:
Take the subject for the month and run with it. You can write a post based on it. You can do a vlog. You can answer the questions. You can do whatever you like as long as it fits within the topic for that month! Make sure you add the button to the bottom of your post and make lots of new friends!!!

<a href="http://themomdiggity.com/category/messy-motherhood/"><img src="http://themomdiggity.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Messy-Motherhood-Button.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>

Welcome to the Messy Motherhood Link Up!!! I’m so excited that you are joining us!! This month we are focusing on encouragement and I’m thrilled to introduce you to my lovely co-hosts, Amanda & Nathalie. They are so amazing. And they are actually REAL LIFE friends because I had the opportunity to meet them recently at The Influence Conference. Yippee! I adore Nathalie’s heart for moms, we are so on the same page. And Amanda is just all kinds of awesomeness and is a constant source of encouragement to me as a mom.

We were planning to make this video about 5 minutes, and it ended up about 15. So, yeah. It’s such good stuff that I couldn’t bring myself to cutting it down. I hope you grab some coffee, sit to watch and be encouraged. These girls have some wisdom you will want to soak in. I’m totally along for the ride on this, and they blessed me so much.

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Messy Motherhood Link Up will be available November 20th – November 26th. 
Topic for the month: Encouragement

Questions: (feel free to answer any or all in your post or vlog)
What’s the best way you have been encouraged as a mom?
How can someone encourage a mom that’s been through the ringer (bed rest, sick kids, tough home life, etc.) 
Encouragement starts at home. How do you & your husband encourage one another??

See the rules below

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THE LINK UP MISSION:
We come to be real, to be loved, to encourage and to uplift. We come from all walks of life and stages of motherhood. We learn from one another and grow together in this amazing responsibility God has given us to raise His people. Bring your messes, your dirty hair and your tears. We embrace each other with open arms and love deeply because we are in this together. It’s a beautiful mess.

LINK UP RULES:
Take the subject for the month and run with it. You can write a post based on it. You can do a vlog. You can answer the questions. You can do whatever you like as long as it fits within the topic for that month! Make sure you add the button to the bottom of your post and make lots of new friends!!!

Welcome to the very first “Messy Motherhood” Messy Mom feature!! If you missed the big announcement for my new series, check it out here! I’m absolutely thrilled to introduce you guys to this month’s Messy Mom. She’s someone REALLY special to me and her story is just amazing.

The best part of her story? It’s just starting and the journey behind her is nothing compared to the journey ahead.

Meet Cayce. Well, meet Cayce’s adorable belly and hot shoes. She’s beautiful and one of the kindest most genuine people I know. Did I mention that’s my niece/nephew in that sweet belly?? Yup, she’s my sister in law! I like to claim that she’s my “older sister” because she’s a whopping 6 weeks older than me

I thought about asking her to write her story for you, but I knew she’d leave out how awesome she really is so I’m doing it myself. Grab your tissues, because their story is a good one.

Let’s start in the beginning. After months and months of trying to get pregnant, they finally decided to go check just to make sure everything was ok. Only to find out she had PCOS. Which basically meant pregnancy wasn’t going to be an easy journey. After finally getting in with a specialist, she took a pregnancy test the morning of her appointment, just out of routine, so she could indeed say she wasn’t pregnant…..WHEN WHOA. POSITIVE!!!!! She was pregnant!! Take that PCOS. We were all SO THRILLED.

There was a healthy baby growing, all is good and life couldn’t be better!!

Fast forward 19 weeks. Cayce came to stay with us for a few days to go to a bachelorette party for a friend. We had a great weekend shopping for baby stuff and dreaming of the next few months ahead as we have our babies together. She left on Sunday to fly home, and had her big ultrasound the next morning. She went in for the ultrasound to find out she was already dilated quite a bit. Like scary dilated. 

After lots of prayer and decision making, they ended up doing a cerclage to sew her up. It was an incredibly scary procedure because her water could rupture at any moment. Praise God for steady hands and a successful surgery! Off to bed rest she went. But I’m not talking what you think of when you imagine bedrest. I’m talking, do-not-move bed rest. From the day of that ultrasound she was flat on her back on the couch or bed. She gets up to go to the bathroom a couple of times a day and to move from the couch to the bed. THAT’S IT.

No showers.
No sitting.
No walking.
No getting up to get herself a glass of water.
INTENSE BEDREST.

When she had to get out a few times to go to the doctor, it was intense. Once they actually had the fire department there to carry her to her car (they live on the 3rd floor of their building). Oh, the stories she could tell you. 

They prayed to make it to 24 weeks. Horrified of what the future could possibly hold, but clinging to hope and trusting that God would take care of them. Her husband or mom would give her baths from the couch and wash her hair. She was flat to eat all of her meals and had to have everything done for her.

Talk about a rockstar mama. I’m not sure I could do it without losing my mind.

So where does the story lead us, you ask??

Well, she will be 36 weeks on Friday. ::insert jumping for joy:: She gets the cerclage clipped next Tuesday and baby will be FULL TERM. Did you hear me?? FULL. TERM. A baby that the doctors didn’t expect to make it to 20 weeks, is perfect and still cooking. ::throws confetti:: I’m secretly praying the baby doesn’t come for a couple more weeks so she gets to go out and enjoy being a large pregnant woman for a little bit, but don’t tell her I said that because she might punch me.

God is good. ALL THE TIME.

As of yesterday she has been laying flat on mega-intense-crazy bed rest for SIXTEEN WEEKS. Can I just get a round of applause for her???

It’s stories like this that make me quit whining about my aches and pains. That make me enjoy every second of my pregnancy in all it’s glory. But it’s stories like this that remind me what some moms go through. Pregnancy and motherhood are TOUGH sometimes. Am I being a constant encouragement to these moms? I sure hope so.

Ok, so Cayce isn’t a blogger, but I couldn’t resist sharing her story and making her my very first “Messy Mom”. I would LOVE if you would leave her a bit of encouragement here so she can read it!!

The best is yet to come, sis! You are my hero!!!

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Messy Motherhood Link Up will be on Tuesday, November 20th. 
Topic for the month: Encouragement

Questions: (feel free to answer any or all in your post or vlog)
What’s the best way you have been encouraged as a mom?
How can someone encourage a mom that’s been through the ringer (bed rest, sick kids, tough home life, etc.) 
Encouragement starts at home. How do you & your husband encourage one another??

See the rules below

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THE LINK UP MISSION:
We come to be real, to be loved, to encourage and to uplift. We come from all walks of life and stages of motherhood. We learn from one another and grow together in this amazing responsibility God has given us to raise His people. Bring your messes, your dirty hair and your tears. We embrace each other with open arms and love deeply because we are in this together. It’s a beautiful mess.

LINK UP RULES:
Take the subject for the month and run with it. You can write a post based on it. You can do a vlog. You can answer the questions. You can do whatever you like as long as it fits within the topic for that month! Make sure you add the button to the bottom of your post and make lots of new friends!!!

<a href="http://themomdiggity.com/category/messy-motherhood/"><img src="http://themomdiggity.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Messy-Motherhood-Button.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></center>

I have a passion for moms. For encouraging and doing life together. Especially for moms of little ones. It’s an incredibly rewarding and tough season of life. After I took on the 31 Days challenge in October, I found myself wanting more. Wanting to do more, encourage more and help more.

Then I attended The Influence Conference and hosted a meet up of moms. I was blown away by how many mamas of little ones showed up! It was a joy to love on them and get to know these women deeper. That’s when the idea struck me to make more of this. I prayed about how I could do something to make a difference and encourage others.

{photo via melody @ dance parties in the rain}

So, the messy motherhood link up idea was born.  

Here’s how it will work. Each month we will have a topic, I will have 3-4 co-hosts joining me. We will do a google hangout and chat about the topic and I will have the girls answer a series of questions. This chat will be recorded and will be posted on the day of the link up. {Because I’m totally nosey, I always wanted to be a fly on the wall at other people’s google hangouts, so I thought it would be a fun way to do life together and let you be a fly on the wall!} 

You have the freedom to do what you want with the topic.
You can answer the questions in a post.
You can vlog about the subject.
Or you can just write whatever you desire about the topic.

And just for fun, I will also feature a blogger once a month and have a post from them/about them on the month’s topic. Yay!

You will get to know other moms, and it’s my hope and my prayer that you will find people to connect with that are in the place you are in.

THE LINK UP MISSION:
We come to be real, to be loved, to encourage and to uplift. We come from all walks of life and stages of motherhood. We learn from one another and grow together in this amazing responsibility God has given us to raise His people. Bring your messes, your dirty hair and your tears. We embrace each other with open arms and love deeply because we are in this together. It’s a beautiful mess.

LINK UP RULES:
Take the subject for the month and run with it. You can write a post based on it. You can do a vlog. You can answer the questions. You can do whatever you like as long as it fits within the topic for that month! Make sure you add the button to the bottom of your post and make lots of new friends!!!