thoughts

February 9, 2012 — 13 Comments

A lot of you have been asking how I’m doing after my recent announcement that our adoption has gotten pushed back. (We were planning to start paperwork last month and got rejected due to income). Well, I’m doing better than I expected.

I have a peace. I know that God has a plan for us. A bigger plan than I can imagine. Want to know something CRAZY? I think we have about decided to have another little one of our own before adopting.

I KNOW.

When I was pregnant with Zoey, we had decided we were done. But have you seen our babies? How can we possibly stop at 2 when we make such amazing and perfect children? I’m addicted to making cute kids. We don’t have a timeline yet for when we might try for #3…I’m still figuring out #1 & #2. Let’s get Zoey sleeping through the night before we even think about that!

Yes, I’m a little disappointed that the timeline didn’t work out the way I had in my brain. But I’m thrilled for what is ahead. I know we will adopt someday, just now isn’t our time. We just started over, and with hubby starting a new career we have to wait it out a bit.

But you know what? We are blessed beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Maybe we aren’t making millions, but we have so much more. We have a nice home (which is *ahem*….free…yeah talk about blessings), we have two cars so the kids and I aren’t stuck at home all day. We have a full pantry and fridge. We are blessed. God provides every month, and He will continue to provide.

I appreciate your prayers and support as we learn to walk through some interesting financial times, and being able to provide the very best for our kiddos. (2 in diapers and 1 on formula. Expensive junk.)

I wish I could hug you all!

In our adoption, our life
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wordless{ish} wednesday: sisters much?

February 8, 2012 — 10 Comments

It’s slightly obvious that our girls came from the same mold.

Just a bit.

Gosh I love my little twinsies.

(Jessi at 3 months, July 2010 & Zoey at 5 months, February 2012)

Linking up with some Wordless Wednesday friends
The Paper Mama, And Then She {Snapped}, 5 Minutes for Mom,
Jenni from the Blog & Angry Julie Monday

In wordless wednesday
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the monthly rundown: 22 and 5 months

February 6, 2012 — 4 Comments

OH, JESSI GIRL:

Two months from 2. Good grief. She really decided recently that she’s going to act like a two year old. The whining is intense and testing us constantly. But the cuteness is full force. We are having a blast. She plays so well by herself now, but still loves to have mama and daddy near. Adoring her baby sister and having so much fun playing with her, and doing so great sharing time with her.

She’s talking like crazy in full sentences. She’s compassionate and sweet. Such a tender heart. She loves to sing. She knows This Little Light of Mine, Ring around the Rosie, Head and Shoulders, Happy Birthday and Jesus Loves me. She can count to ten (skipping 4, 6 and usually 9) and is starting to say the ABC’s (also skipping about 10 letters). We are starting to learn our colors, can’t point them out very well but we are getting there.

 

She loves to go to church and is doing so much better away from mama and daddy. She loves the bubble machines at church and singing songs and is playing much better with other kids. We enjoy trips to the zoo and to the park. She’s getting brave playing on the playground and going down slides like a pro! Getting to be a little bit of a dare devil! We are still taking our time with potty training, but getting better at it when we really try.

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Zoey,

I don’t think there has ever been a happier baby than you. You are such a joy! You have reached my favorite baby age, and it’s an absolute blast. You play so happily all day, and are content. You are crazy about your big sister. You love watching her play, and she makes you laugh more than anyone.

You are getting stronger and growing so much! We finally moved you into 3-6 month clothes. I love how tiny and petite you are, and those precious cheeks are to die for! You still aren’t sleeping through the night, but you do every couple of weeks which is a nice relief for mama.

 

You are rolling and scooting around the floor. You still don’t really like being on your belly and if you roll over at night you get upset. You are making tons of noise and having fun finding your voice!

We are having a blast! We love you so much sweet girl.

To the ends of the earth,
Mama

In jessi girl, zoey b , ,
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peanut butter banana smoothie

February 4, 2012 — 3 Comments

I mentioned this smoothie the other day and a ton of you asked for the recipe so I wanted to share it! It’s one of our favs! I love making this smoothie after Jessi wakes from her nap, especially on a picky eater type of day. I know she will at least get something in her.

What you need:
1/4 cup oats
1/4 cup peanut butter
1 cup milk
2 frozen bananas

Blend the oats first. The key is to turn them into powder. Once they are a fine powder, add all the ingredients and blend until desired consistency.

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Here’s the trick: once you give it to your kids, sneak some chocolate syrup into yours. Makes it delish!

Jessi Girl doesn’t stop to take a breath when I give her this smoothie, she loves it!

Thumbs up for the PB Banana Smoothie!

In stuff i love
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accepting the challenge.

February 3, 2012 — 16 Comments

One of my lovely bloggy friends recently posted about the importance of self portraits. I used to be scared to take pictures of myself and felt a little goofy posting them…feeling a bit like a high school girl “posing in the mirror”-ish. But it’s time to stop being shy and start looking at the camera.

So, why am I jumping on this bandwagon? I’m doing it for my girls. I’m doing it for our future. I want to be able to look back and not just see millions of pictures of the girls, but also a little mama in there too! Hubby and I are trying to make more of an effort to actually BE in “home videos” as opposed to being the silent voice beind the camera. We recently went through all of our parents old home videos and almost everytime you would see one of our moms come into the camera she would freak out and run away. Why moms?? I love seeing my mama when she was my age and wish I had more pictures and video of us doing things together.

I’m also doing it for YOU! My readers! When I go to a blog, I want to know about the person writing. And I want to see their face. Simple as that. So get ready to see more of my ugly mug and hear more about ME!

Thanks to Chelsey for encouraging us to do this and putting us up to the challenge! I accept!

CURRENTLY I AM…

Obsessing over – Zoey’s smile. It’s seriously the most amazing thing ever.

Working on – Jessi’s 2nd birthday party, and attempting to have her baby book finished before her bday!

Thinking about – How badly I want to go in the kitchen and make some cookies. Maybe I just will.

Anticipating – Work stuff for hubby. I’m thrilled he’s loving his job and doing so well at it. Anxious for what is ahead for him!

Listening to – Jessi kick the side of her bed and talk about how she wants a snack. Maybe I should go get her up? Nah, she’s fine.

Eating – A graham cracker and having a glass of sweet tea.

Wishing – Oreos would magically appear in my pantry.

Linking up with The Paper Mama’s Self Photo Challenge

In blogging
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my 366 – january

February 2, 2012 — Leave a comment

I wasn’t really planning on doing a picture a day for the year or anything, but it just kinda happened. I realized that I take a bazillion pics of the kids every day anyway, so I figured why the heck not! At the end of the year I easily have at least 10-12 thousand pics to sort through and at least this way I’ll have 366 of my favorite shots from each day! Most days I post 6-8 pictures on instagram, so I’m picking my favorite from each day and doing a picture a day!

So here you go! My 366 picture project for 2012!

We kicked off January just right! The girls were cute as can be (duh). Zoey started rolling over and life got much more fun! Jessi gave Rupert a real bath, and thought that was a blast. We had good days and bad days, but more good than bad! Took a fun trip to the Zoo with daddy and had some really nice weather we got to enjoy! Ended the month perfectly with ZoZo discovering her toes!

In my family is cooler than your family
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wordless{ish} wednesday: these moments

February 1, 2012 — 5 Comments

These are the moments.

The moments where my world stops spinning and I remember why I am a mother.

I love these moments.

I love them with all my heart.

Linking up with some Wordless Wednesday friends
The Paper Mama, A Little King & I, And Then She {Snapped}, 5 Minutes for Mom,
Jenni from the Blog & Angry Julie Monday

In joys of motherhood, wordless wednesday
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yes, I’m aware that my hands are full.

January 31, 2012 — 4 Comments

The number one comment when I’m out with the kiddos is “Wow, you’ve got your hands full don’t you?”. I usually follow it with a blank stare and thank them for stating the obvious for me.

OF COURSE I HAVE MY HANDS FULL! Duuuuuuuh. 

A guy at the mall a couple weeks ago actually stopped me and stared down into the stroller with a huge look of shock on his face. “I can’t believe there are TWO babies in there!!!”. Seriously, dude? Did you think I’d have my cat in there?

It’s like when you’re 9 months pregnant and people feel the need to tell you that you’re about to have a baby. Why, oh why do they feel the need to remind me that I have two little humans?

It’s almost like they feel sorry for me. WHY?? This was our choice, and it’s amazing. I’m blessed with two tiny people who are absolutely incredible! My house is filled with laughter and fun. Sure, it’s tough. I’m the first one to admit that, but most importantly…it’s a blast. I wouldn’t trade the bad days or the hard times for anything. Because when it’s hard, there’s always a silver lining.

Right when it gets really rough is when Zoey giggles uncontrollably for the first time at her big sister. It’s when Jessi says her bible verse by herself, and sings her ABC’s (skipping about 10 letters of course). It’s when Jessi goes and sits next to her little sister and hugs and kisses her and tells her she loves her (without me telling her to!). Those moments make my eyes fill with tears and my heart with joy. They are learning from us! We are having a stinking blast teaching and loving these little humans. In no way does having my “hands full” change that.

And to all you people who think I’m crazy and have my hands full? They are only going to get more full.

Now, stop staring at me and buy me coffee and go carry my groceries to the car!!!

In joys of motherhood , , ,
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saturday

January 30, 2012 — 11 Comments

Just gonna be really open and honest here. I had a breakdown this weekend, and honestly it scared me. I’ve for the most part managed to keep my head on pretty straight after having the kiddos. There was a time after having Jessi that I was really scared I was getting postpartum depression, but we figured out it was just stress and frustration over breastfeeding. As soon as I quit breastfeeding her, I was golden.

But last week was hard. Both girls have been suffering with allergies really bad, and it was taking a toll on us all. We got the news that we couldn’t continue with our adoption and I took that pretty hard. It was a busy week, so all around exhausting. Saturday morning daddy had a basketball game (he plays in a church league) so we were at home by ourselves. The whining was ridiculous. It’s all I had heard all week. My head hurt, the baby was crying, the toddler was whining and clinging to me.

I just broke down. I couldn’t even stand the sight of their faces. What?? I calmly begged the toddler to go play with her toys, while I sat and tried to wrap my mind around the emotions. I just needed to escape.

Then the guilt hits. What kind of a mother am I? What mother wants to get away from her children?? Well, me. The kind of mother that never gets away from her children. I never ask for help. When I ask for help, I feel like a failure. I’ve convinced myself I can do it all and I can handle it all.

But I can’t.

Thankfully hubby walked in the door before I locked myself in my bedroom. I explain to him that I was losing my mind, and he gladly took over the children so I could take a nap and escape the house.  I tell new moms all the time how important it is to take time to yourself and ask for help, but why can’t I take that advice myself? When I do get help, and get a chance to leave the house – I rush through my errands and feel this HUGE amount of guilt the entire time.

When will this get better? Get easier? Maybe it never will. But I hope that eventually I get the hang of it and the guilt lessens. Because even after an hour away, I feel so much more refreshed.

I think I had just reached the point of exhaustion, we all get there. I love these little people more than anything on this planet (other than their sperm donor of course). I would do ANYTHING for them. But sometimes, I just have to get away before I go completely nutty.

It’s those days when the baby is up to eat every three hours the night before and the toddler has a screaming meltdown because “OH NO I OPENED THE FRUIT SNACKS ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE PACKAGE”. That’s when it’s time to step back, take a breather and remind myself I am a fantastic mother. We will get through this stage.

It’s hard. But I will always go home, scoop up my babies and love them with everything in me. It’s ok to have a tough day, and it’s important to take a break – even from your family. Recharge those batteries so you can start over fresh.

How do you survive the tough days? Are you asking for help? 

In joys of motherhood , , ,
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one word 2012: STAY

January 27, 2012 — 6 Comments

Have you heard of One Word? A pretty cool concept. You choose a word to focus on for the year. The last few weeks I’ve really been praying through what this year hold for our family and the best way to lead our children. Praying God would give me a verse or two to focus on and some direction.

The word “Stay” kept coming to my mind. But not in the way you usually think of the word stay. I don’t plan to stay the same. I want to grow and learn. But I feel like God is calling me to stay in a different way. To stay the course. To endure. To persevere.

We aren’t in an ideal place right now in our life, but God has called us here and placed us here for a purpose. So I will be still. I will wait. I will endure.

What are you focusing on this year? 

In our life
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