I’ve had a tough time recently with the end of this pregnancy. I’m chasing two adorable little girls around, and it has taken a toll on carrying a baby. The days are long, and my patience is short. We are counting down the days to the end (quite literally, we have a countdown chain!) and I’m anxious to be done. But in these last few weeks, I’ve started to question myself. Can I actually do this? Will it be more than I can handle?

As I cried over a plate of brownies last weekend, and cried out to my online community (you guys!), I was uplifted and reminded why I’m doing what I’m doing. You guys kinda rock.

If you need some encouragement today, just read through this. Sure worked for me!!

I am reminded that no, I CAN’T actually do this on my own. But through Christ, I can not only do this…I can excel at it! That’s great news to a really exhausted mom. 

Being just a few days away from having my THIRD baby, it’s a little scary. THREE kids. Under the age of three. I had a slight heart attack a couple of nights ago when I was so exhausted I could barely move and my two toddlers were running circles around me. WHAT AM I DOING?!?! Thankfully I can do this. And I will do it well.

And then I got a hard reminder of what I’m doing. As I was sitting in my last OB appointment, listening to my doctor talking to her patient next door. (You know how those rooms have those incredibly thin walls?) A woman who had been trying for 2 years to get pregnant. They had done treatments after treatment. I can’t imagine what that poor girl had been through emotionally and physically. Broke my heart.

I sat there with a renewed gratitute for the journey I have been on. It’s been a heck of a journey for sure. Pregnancy hasn’t been easy or glamorous for me. It hasn’t always been fun. But what it has been, is a complete blessing. I have 2 beautiful girls that I’m so very thankful for. I would go back and do it all over again. And again and again. (but maybe take a break for a while, ok hubby?)

As difficult as the end can be, the fact of the matter is what it will be over soon. Like in just a few days. And as I hold another little miracle in my arms, I will know how worth it the entire journey is.

And that through HIM, I can do this.  

I’m struggling to find the words. I sit to write, and nothing comes out. I’m exhausted and overwhelmed. My parents kept the girls this weekend for us so we had some time to rest. That was glorious. If only I hadn’t had to get up to pee every hour, it would have been REALLY amazing. I’ve needed rest, but it’s hard to get.

I just don’t know how to form the words.
What the end of this pregnancy means to me.

How do I write on what the end means, when I don’t really know?

We don’t know what is ahead for us. We know we plan to adopt our next child, but we don’t know after that. Will we be done? Hubby is convinced I’ll want to have another of our own, but who knows. So my heart aches and is full. I’m anxious for what is ahead over this next year with three so little.

I’m anxious for what it will teach me, how I will be stretched.

I have my giant “to do” list of things to accomplish before the baby comes. I’m in my usual mode of nesting/conquering all of the things. But am I being fully intentional with my time? This past month, I have stepped back so much from blogging and social media. I want to pour into my girls as much as possible, but barely have the time to breathe.

What will this new season ahead look like for me? I have lots of goals and plans for blogging, but my family comes first. Will I have time for all I want to do? Is it just hormones making my brain race a million miles a minute?? #quitepossibly

In exactly 16 days we will meet our third beautiful little girl.
On that day, I know that all the questions and worries will disappear.

All that will matter are my three little blonde beauties and their daddy.
(unless we get a shocker of a lifetime, and BabyM looks like daddy…yeah right!)