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a letter to…me.

January 24, 2012 in extremely wise thoughts with 4 Comments

Dear ungrateful me,

You know that money you whine about? It is going to buy diapers and food for those precious babies you are blessed with. That’s all you need.

And those trips to Paris and New York you dream of taking? You get to go to the zoo and see your children’s faces light up as they learn about monkeys…and make adorable monkey noises.

You know how you get frustrated that hubby has to work such long hours? He has a job that he loves and provides for you.

Those times you complained about “too much family”? It’s ridiculous how many people you have that love you and would do anything for you.

And then you were jealous of all the fun stuff that couple without kids got to do. They don’t hear the giggles of little girls in their home every day.

And constantly you complain because you can’t have your favorite restaurant more. But that little blonde haired toddler had a picnic with you on the living room floor and thought your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were amazing.

Then it was overwhelming to keep the house clean and you whined and whined. You are blessed with a home. A roof over your head to keep your babies safe and warm.

So before you complain about the things you don’t have, look into those little faces and count every blessing. Hug your husband and thank God for bringing you an amazing man.

Because your home may not be perfect, but it’s filled with perfect love. It’s overflowing with joy and blessings.

Don’t focus on the things you cannot do, but instead point the babies to Jesus and everything you need will be provided.

Sincerely,

Overwhelmed with Blessings Me

the God who answers prayer

July 28, 2011 in extremely wise thoughts, our life with 4 Comments

This song has been encouraging me so much lately and I wanted to share it with you guys. We are in such a weird, but great place in our lives right now. We never dreamed we’d be 5 weeks out from having our second child without a steady job. Brook is having a blast getting to lead worship all over the place and travel a lot, but it’s not the greatest income. Thankfully, we are trusting God to provide for us each and every day and we know that He will see us through.

Listening to this song a few days ago just brought me to tears. He really is a God who answers prayer, whether it be on our timing or the way we “want” Him to answer. Just such powerful words to remind me daily that my life is in His hands.

God who answers prayer
Sees me in my need
Runs to my despair
Your promise I believe

That You Are, You Are, You Are God

Bless the Lord with all that’s within o my soul
I cry out with all that I am make me whole
Here I stand I place all my hope in you
My Healer will see me through

God who answers prayer
Faithful you will be
In my darkest hour
Your promise I believe

My Savior, my God on High
The One who has brought me life
I surrender all that I am
Into your hands, I’m in your hands

{Elevation Worship}

Have a listen:

the moment everything stops

July 12, 2011 in extremely wise thoughts with 8 Comments

Life has been a bit of a whirlwind lately. The days fly by, and the weeks are gone before I know it. It’s hotter than…well something really, really hot outside. I make it through most days with a forced smile counting down the days until I’m no longer pregnant. (52 days) I’m in that miserable stage where something constantly aches, and I feel bad for my amazing husband who has to live with the crank pot I am most days.

Then something happens and my world stops for an instance. This week it was her. My precious baby girl. My independent, wild and carefree toddler. Sunday night after a long weekend away for hubs to lead worship out of state, we got home late. Got her in her pjs and hubs was getting her room ready for her to get in bed and I sat in her rocker waiting for my “nigh-nigh” kisses and hugs. She normally lasts about 5 seconds with us through her prayers and kisses and is reaching for her bed so ready to get in. She’s been this way since day one. Her rocking chair sits unoccupied, and only used for her to “ride” in when she plays in her room.

But this night was different. I asked her if she’d like to rock with mommy.

She walked over to me, tired little eyes looking up and said “up!” I scooped her into my arms and she nuzzled into me.

I didn’t move for about 30 minutes. My right arm completely asleep (thanks a lot pregnancy carpel tunnel), my left leg going numb. I embraced all 23 pounds of my precious toddler for as long as I could. She fell asleep in my arms. I felt her sink into me, and be completely comfortable. She knows her mama will take care of her, and for this brief moment…she needed to feel my touch. She needed to be held and rocked to sleep.

I am in the same place. I’m tired. I’m weak. I can’t manage to do it on my own. I have to crawl into my Father’s lap and allow Him to rock me to sleep. To look into my eyes and tell me He will take care of me. Some days I get too wrapped up in the little things that really don’t matter. Blogging, numbers, e-mails, blah blah blah. I want to take the time to get back to the innocence of a child and forget it all. I want to only care about the things that matter, and use every moment to love my family with every ounce of energy I have (even if it’s just a little bit!).

I’m thankful for those moments when everything stops and I’m reminded of what really matters. I hope you take the time today to embrace the people you love. Forget the things that don’t matter. Hug your babies. Laugh with them. Hold your husband’s hand. Bake a cake and make a mess. Have fun. Enjoy life.

I only have 52 days left with my family of 3. You better believe I’m going to make the best of it, the best way I can. Blazing heat, puffy body and full of joy.

how long should pregnancy REALLY be?

April 18, 2011 in extremely wise thoughts with 22 Comments

Ok, this may be craziness coming from my mouth…but here we go.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how long pregnancy really should be. We go with the 40 week schedule and then FREAK out when due dates pass.

I delivered my daughter at 42 weeks. I hadn’t progressed at all, and they had to go in after her and cut her out of me. Honestly, I’m just so thankful I was born in the era of modern medicine. There is a good chance either me or my baby could have died during delivery. I don’t share this very often, but my doctor has told me it’s not likely that I would really be able to naturally deliver a baby due to how my hardware is set up. So, for me I’m thankful for the c-section and how much safer it is for me to deliver babies.

I can’t help but wonder how often we rush God’s design.

Some women deliver right on or very near their due date. Some way before. My mom delivered my brother at 44 weeks. But why is it that when that date comes and goes, doctors induce and rush the baby?? I completely understand if there are risks involved, but as long as there is a healthy baby and mama….why rush?

Believe me, I understand how hard it is to think logically in the end of your pregnancy and induction sounds very nice when you go “late”. But after delivering my first in California, where they have laws against early inductions and c-sections, I can’t help but think they are on the right track. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe back in the day, a lot of women and babies died during delivery because they went too long. I don’t know the science. I just wonder what God’s original plan was for gestation period.

I learned my lesson the hard way with getting attached to a due date with my first. I rarely even tell people when I’m due this time, even though I will have a scheduled c-section.

What are your thoughts? Inductions? Should we wait more and let babies come on their own? Should it be a case by case basis? Are we rushing God’s design?

mama fears

January 19, 2011 in extremely wise thoughts with 9 Comments

It’s true. Mama’s have fears. We fear for our babies, and pour our hearts and souls into them. We fear that we will fail them along the way. We fear that we will not know what to do, and will not be enough for them. We have these fears in us long before they are even born.

I’m only 6 1/2 weeks pregnant with Baby 2.0. The first trimester is a scary time. A time of the unknown. A time where you wish for sickness, sore breasts and having to pee ten times during the night. You want these things as a comfort. You can’t feel the baby moving, and you can’t see a bump. You just want to know that everything is going ok.

It’s called faith. Believing in the unseen. Knowing that God will handle things that are out of your control. And giving Him the control.

I could sit and worry and fuss day and night over this little tadpole swimming in my uterus, but what’s the point? God already has plans for this little one. He knows. He will be my strength to get me through the long days ahead. {That and the tiny bit of coffee I can sneak now and then}

The next 6 weeks will drag by. And then the next 6 months will drag by. Until I’m holding my new baby in my arms, then it starts a whole new world of fears and worries a mama faces.

“I sought the Lord and He answered me. And He delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:3

Are you trusting Him, and allowing Him to deliver you from your fears?

Continue Reading…

understanding gratitude

December 20, 2010 in extremely wise thoughts with 2 Comments

“Gratitude is the starting point of generosity.”

I’ve always felt like I had a generous heart. I share, I pray for others, I give what I can. But it’s not until lately I’ve realized how selfish and ungrateful I am. And that rocked me to my core. In the past few years, it’s as if I grew up a LOT. I began to understand what gratitude is all about.

I’m in a place of complete brokenness. A brokenness for more of Jesus. A brokenness for the lost and hurting. Somewhere in becoming a mom, I learned how blessed I am. There are nights when all I can do is hold my baby and cry out of gratitude to God, praising Him for the gift of her.

I get it now. I understand gratitude.

But now I also understand generosity. And that’s the catcher.

My heart longs to do more. To fix it. To make the hurting stop. To wrap my arms around the hurting single moms who are just struggling to get by. For the families that aren’t sure where their next meal will come from. Or how they will get their kids to school if they can’t fill the car with gas. When daddy just can’t find a job to make ends meet.

My heart hurts.

My hubby and I are praying through what God is doing in us, and how we will act on it. I’m praying that doors will open for generosity. That we can make a difference in someone’s life. To give them hope and a sense of gratitude.

Do you really understand gratitude? How can you be generous this holiday season?

!deacamp: orphan care & the church

December 8, 2010 in extremely wise thoughts with 2 Comments

What is The Idea Camp?

The Idea Camp is networking. A place of openness and exchange.

It’s not just another conference with a disconnect of speakers and attenders. But a forum for people to connect and engage.

Idea Camp is a movement of friends.

It’s something different, it’s something powerful.

Take a moment to watch this video and learn more about what the Idea Camp is all about.

ICDC Behind the Scenes from The Idea Camp on Vimeo.

These people are making a difference.

I’m so excited to share and announce the upcoming Idea Camp on February 25-26 in NW Arkansas. This camp will focus on Orphan Care & The Church {woo woo!}, and I’m thrilled and honored to be a part of the blogging team for this conference! I mean, do I really have to tell you how big of a deal Adoption and Orphan Care is? Yes I do. And over the next couple of months, I will be pouring my heart out and sharing the importance of this with you, along with some of my favorite bloggers/friends from all over the globe. It’s going to be epic.

Check out the Idea Camp blog over the next couple of months to read more about Adoption, Orphan Care and the Church from some pretty awesome bloggers!

Registration for !C: Orphan Care is now open! Click here to register.

my political rant

November 3, 2010 in extremely wise thoughts with 10 Comments

It pains me to even think of the millions and millions of dollars spent on the campaigns. For something that ended yesterday. Millions spent, and millions wasted {for most}.

It pains me even more to think of the millions and millions that went hungry last night.

Just to put this into perspective a bit:

{According to the United Nations’ Food and Agriculture Organization}
It would only take $30 billion a year to launch the necessary agricultural programs needed to completely solve global hunger.

{According to an article from Capitol Weekly}
In California alone – the candidates running for governor spend a combined total of around $200 million. And the 2008 Presidential Election – 2.8 billion.

Boom.

What’s more important? The hurting people of our world or the leading faces of our country? Is it necessary to slash one another in an election race? It shows fear. Why is it so much more easier to rub a opponants name in the mud in attempt to make ourselves “look better” than to make a difference and do some good?

i sit

October 26, 2010 in extremely wise thoughts with 8 Comments

I sit in my car while the baby sleeps. I try to read the words of scripture through tears, begging God to show me something. Anything.

My heart aches. We are in that place again. The place of unknown. Of fear. Of asking God what he has for us, and hearing nothing.

It’s hard. People always tell you that ministry is hard. But you never understand it until you are fully immersed. Until you’ve given it your all. Until you feel empty and numb. That’s when it’s hard. When you’re at the end of the road and it feels like you have no hope. Until you’re totally broken to the point that you open your bible and can’t even read the words but get the greatest lesson of all.

{Trust me.}

I hear that still small whisper in my ear.

{Trust me.}

But God! I am the mama bear. I have a family to take care of! I need my security. I need my stuff. I have a husband and a baby and a dog. I have to meet their needs.

{I will meet your needs.}

{Trust me.}

But seriously Lord, ME. What about ME?

{TRUST. ME.}

Are you trusting Him? Even when it’s really hard?

Continue Reading…

morning delight

June 14, 2010 in extremely wise thoughts with 2 Comments

Every morning my sleeping beauty wakes from her slumber and cries out for me. This is one of my favorite parts of the day. I go and stick my head over her crib and that face lights up and she squeals with delight to see her mama. I scoop her up in my arms and snuggle her. She is so happy to see me and can’t wait to spend some quality time with me.

Seek the face of your heavenly father today. Squeal with delight when HE leans in to take you in His arms. It’ll be the best part of your day…and His.