I’ve been feeling VERY tired lately. A little beat down, worn out, exhausted. I have a major case of the third trimester blues.
My patience is short.
My energy is non-existent.
I get texts/tweets/emails asking how I’m feeling and how I’m holding up. I’m always torn between being brutally honest and putting on a smile and saying “I’m GREAT!”. I usually bite my tongue and say I’m great. Because honestly, I am. I’m carrying a healthy baby and I’m healthy. Well, as “healthy” as you can be when you live on graham crackers and dark chocolate hersey’s kisses.
But oh-so incredibly uncomfortable. I spend my day either peeing, or feeling the need to pee because this baby is laying on my bladder in the most unpleasant way possible. I’m hormonal times a million, and want to cry over anything and everything. It’s not fun I tell ya.
Even sitting to write lately has exhausted me and made me cry. I have trouble putting words on the screen that even make sense. I want to be an encouragement, but find myself whining and beating myself up. Why can’t I find the joy in this season? Why am I so anxious for it to end? I should be soaking up these last 6 weeks and enjoying them, instead I’m frustrated and tired. I want to be open and honest, but at the same time don’t want to be “that mom” that complains about her blessings.
Because I’m am oh-so-blessed.
I find myself yelling at my kids and being short with my husband.
I’m too tired to clean that nasty bathroom that’s been yelling at me for weeks. Nasty.
It’s just all overwhelming.
I want to find rest.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30
That. I want that.
To live freely and lightly.
In the unforced rhythms of His grace.