I’m sitting here all snuggled up in my bed with a warm blanket and cup of chai tea. My babies are napping and tears are streaming down my face as I try to wrap my mind around rejection.
We were rejected to start our adoption.
OUCH.
The place we are in is tough. When hubby quit his comfortable, well paying church job (I know, that’s kinda an oxymoron right?) to move us back to Oklahoma I had no idea it would be this difficult to get settled. We went a full year without a job. He led worship and that paid the bills, but we still had to dig into our savings significantly. We didn’t get a couple of jobs we really wanted, and began to question if full time ministry was really what we were supposed to be doing anymore.
Then hubby got the job at Apple 2 months ago, and he absolutely loves it. He always tells me this is something he can see himself doing for a long time. That makes me so happy. It’s great because he can still lead worship part time, and still work at Apple. Win, win!
The downside? He’s starting out in a new company. Although he didn’t have to start completely at the bottom, they didn’t hire him on immediately to be a manager or pay him a million dollars. So we are scraping by a bit.
Therefore, we have decisions to make. Yes, we are still going to adopt. That’s not even a question. We just need to be bringing home a little more before we can. Do I take on some sort of job to cover the extra that we need? But then what about the girls? Seems dumb for me to work just so we can get going on paperwork, only to pay all of that straight to daycare. Sigh.
I know God has a huge plan for our children and our family. But I’m extremely disappointment. My heart hurts. I was so ready and excited to get started on this journey. The process takes 2-3 YEARS and I really wanted my kids super close together. If we have to wait another year or longer to get started that’s like 5 years before having another kiddo! Um, no thanks!
We would really appreciate your prayers as we figure this out and decide what is the best course for us to take. Thanks my friends!
CODE IT & LOAD IT!
CODE IT & LOAD IT!
Sorry you guys are having such a setback. I somewhat understand. I wanted our kids close together, too. But since we’ve been trying to have a second child for almost a year now and it hasn’t happened, I’ve had to start wrapping my mind around the idea that God has a better plan and a better timing than I do. Even if I got pregnant NOW, our son would still be almost 4 before a baby was born. Sending prayers your way.
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It’s not easy when things don’t happen the way “we planned”. Even though it’s a different type of situation, I feel a sense of loss with this not happening right now for us. I know that God has a better plan and it will happen, but it’s hard! Love you and praying for you sweet girl!
KK,
I am so sorry you guys are experiencing such a sad set back. Praying for you guys! Let me know if you need anything. Miss you here in California.
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Thank you my sweet friend!
Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry to hear this. I know that no matter how much you trust that God has his plan for you it is so hard to simply sit back and trust in that at times like this! So I am sending you lots of love to face the disappointment and find the quietness you need to find direction for your next step. And, of course, I am praying for you all xx
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So sorry to hear about your set back! This is a road block now but one day you will be able to look back and see with clarity what was being done.
KK – There is always a bigger plan! These breaks in our plans is God’s way of getting us out of our comfort zone. I lost my full-time job the week before Christmas and have been reminding myself of this daily! Hugs!
I am so sorry to hear this, our adoption journey took almost 5 years from start to finish with a failed Chinese adoption in there too. We spent alot of money and it was an emotional roller coaster. I never expected to be a Momma for the first time at almost 36 but like others have said, we never know what Gods plan is for us.
oh this sucks. really no other way to say it. but as i know you know, faith in God requires faith in his timing. it’ll work out my friend
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Praying for you sweet friend! I am so sorry to hear this. I’m sure that was devastating news : ( But God’s timing is perfect and it will happen just when it’s supposed to. Hugs!!!
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I will definitely be praying for you. I am so sorry for your set back. It’s so hard when things don’t go as “planned” or our way, but you know God has a plan for your entire family. I love the post you wrote about “stay”. I’ve always been pretty good about being content where I am at, but bringing home a newborn and having to take on all those challenges again make me want to fast forward a few months, but how important are those verses you shared! “Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Such a great reminder for the stage I am in right now. I’ll be praying for you girl!